Monday, September 13, 2010

I'm alive to live for YOU.

Really upset that all my pictures are gone! Tried to fix a couple, but it wasn't really working... As Chelcie would say- "tragic!"

Something about this weekend (maybe the excitement, maybe the lack of sleep, maybe the quality time with friends, maybe slamming my finger in the car door and using the boo boo bunny, but mostly likely becoming famous- being on ESPN and dominating the jumbotron) made me feel like myself again for the first time since I got back from Africa. I don't think I even realized how much I hadn't been myself until I felt like I was being myself again... if that makes any sense at all. I knew things were different- that I was even more awkward than before, that I never felt like being social, that my friendships were suffering which I think I blamed more on my friends than on myself which is completely backwards. I have been really clingy in some of my relationships lately (you know who you are, and I am sorry), and I have pushed others away drastically (again, sorry).

All of this is not to say that I'm completely back to the person I was before my trip because that would be false... It was a life-changing experience, and I don't think I will ever be the same because of it. I learned so much about my God, so much about myself, so much about Young Life and my ministry, and so much about relationships. I also grew so much in so many ways, and I am so thankful for that. I hope that I will be changed forever by what this trip taught me, but it is good to "feel like myself again" finally!

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