I think I was a lot better at blogging last summer, back when I started this thing. Recently all I've been doing is listing the recent happenings, it seems like. I'm glad I have this blog to document the fun things in my life, and I definitely want to use it for that at times... but what it's really supposed to be documenting is my love for Jesus and my walk with Him. Maybe I've been slacking at that because it's so much easier just to list the fun things I've been doing, whereas putting my heart into words can be so difficult.

For right now, I will say that I am in a place of longing. I am yearning for God's truth and love and to be closer to Him, but not only that... I am also yearning for Him to remind some of my dear friends of His goodness, His mercy, and His unfailing love.

This is hard to say... 1 because I don't want to admit it and 2 because I don't really know how to explain it, but I think that lately I have been trying so hard to remind others that God has everything under control that I've been forgetting to remind myself of that. I've been forgetting to take time for myself. I've been spending time with God for others... it that makes any sense at all. I haven't been focusing on Him for myself. I haven't been spending time with Him so that He and I can have intimate time together, but I have been reading His word almost solely to try and comfort others through it.

I think comforting others with God's love is a GREAT thing when you do it the right way. I have to re-prioritize. I have to put God first. It is a lesson I am having to learn over and over again. I somehow so easily let earthly relationships come between Jesus and me. I have to run to God for ME. For my relationship with Him. I have to be right with Him, walking in step with Him, letting Him guide my every move... and then through that I can love others with His love. I can share with others what He is teaching ME. I can point people to Jesus. I can show them how to be comforted by Him instead of comforted by ME.

In trying to help others and comfort others, I feel like I'm being selfless when in reality I'm being so selfish because I'm not pointing them to Christ the way I should be. How can I tell others to run to Christ for themselves when I seem to have lost sight of running to Him for myself? And that does sound selfish, but in reality, fulfilling a yearning for Christ is not selfish because through that you can help others SO much better. And Christ longs for us to come to Him!

Trying to be "filled" with Christ just so that I can go and pour that out onto others is so draining because I'm not being truly filled to where I am overflowing. I am just simply getting enough to give to someone else and then being left empty. It's a crazy cycle that I really don't think I can explain, but I have got to start being filled by Christ through His love, through church, and through others to the point that His love can overflow from me so that I have enough to give away. Constantly being the person trying to be there for others who are going through hard times is really wearing me down, but I know that listening and encouraging are things that God is calling me to. I just have to go about it the correct way.

I was expecting this to turn into another short blogging list, so sorry for my noncoherent ramblings!

People are once again commenting on how long it's been since I've blogged- Just enjoying summer too much to have time to sit down and think, I guess.

A lot has happened, but probably nothing interesting for me to write about or you to read about.

• Spanish is going way better than I could have ever imagined. If second session is the least bit difficult, I'm really going to have to kick it into gear.
• Because of my 103 average in Spanish, I decided to take a few days off and take a spontaneous beach trip- the family vacay I wasn't going to be able to go on. Lindsey and I decided on a Friday that we would up and leave for the beach the next morning. That's probably been the best part so far. Really thankful for my time with Lindsey and time by the ocean to relax.
  
  

• I learned to wake surf. Well... kind of. Actually, not really at all. I did get up (still holding the rope) for a few seconds.
• I've been dog-sitting quite a bit for my dad. Again, it's a nice gig considering there's a pool in the back yard... but the dogs. Oh my goodness, they are high maintenance. They have torn up everything in sight (including my Chacos).
  
• ABBY AND ANDY GOT MARRIED!!!!!!! Congrats to the most precious couple in the world (okay, I might have to change my wording next week after I see Jordan and Abby get married because they might be tied)!
  

I'm trying really hard to complain less... about everything, but particularly about summer school because it's only the third day and I've complained to everyone I've seen. I'll get used to it eventually, right? Every once in a while it just hits me that it's going to be EVERY day for the rest of the summer... and I get really sad about that.

In all honesty, it's not that bad- the only bad part is waking up between 6 and 6:30 every morning and then sitting through a two hour, very boring Spanish class in which I have to talk (one of my least favorite things). On the bright side though, the weather is AMAZING when I go out to my car. It feels perfect! I drive with my windows down (one of my favorite things), I get to see quite a few friends and have class with two of them, I get done at 10 and have the rest of the day to do whatever I want- I'm going to take full advantage of the pool in my dad's back yard. Oh, and the best part is probably the beautiful sunrise I've seen every morning thus far.

Back to complaining- I'm really sad that I'm missing my family vacation for the first time ever! And don't get to take any trips this summer... but that's okay, I promised mom I'd stay in the country anyway.

I need my friends to put pictures on facebook so I can steal them for this blog- it's lacking and that makes it so boring! Maybe I should just start taking my own camera so I can have pictures. Good idea, huh?