This is going to be a sporadic post with lots of random thoughts because that describes my life... and my brain. I really am losing my mind. My brain has pretty much decided to quit working this semester- I write everything down and still forget things, I am always out of it (making me even more awkward than I already am), and I haven't been a good friend lately.
On that note... I know this is really selfish of me, but I just can't put forth the effort that I have been into some friendships anymore. I literally can't. It's so draining when I get absolutely nothing in return from some people. Especially when I feel like they don't care about our friendship at all. If it doesn't matter to them, maybe it shouldn't matter to me so much. Yes, there are people that I still feel led to pursue and don't *shouldn't* expect anything in return (which should always be the case probably), but those people that I'm not feeling really called to pursue a friendship with right now... I'm just going to let it go. I hate that and it is so so difficult for me to say (will be even harder for me to actually do), but I have to do it because I have so many other things (God, other relationships, Young Life, school) I need to focus on. I have to get rid of some of the "drainers" in my life so that I can be filled in order to pour out.
Something that I'm looking forward to that I absolutely love- Panera with Jessie tomorrow. This time once a week seriously keeps me going. Time with her always makes me think about life, really consider the things I'm doing (whether they're actually worthwhile or not), and she always points me to the Lord. My time with her is always rich (NOT exhausting!). I don't know how it happens or how she does it- yes, I do... She lets God use her and speak through her. Incredible.