This is supposed to be a picture of Jamie and me "studying" at Panera. Hopefully I uploaded the right one and hopefully we look decent... I can't see my screen at all so this is quite risky. Jamie convinced me to take a personal day. I had no intentions of going to my first class so I just came to Panera to read Lord, I want to know You. Jamie made a surprise visit to my house this morning while I was getting ready so I told her to join me at Panera after ice-skating. Apparently I was moving kind of slow because she got here about the same time I did.

Last night I decided to go to the library. Solely to socialize because, like I said, I have nothing school-related this week. Needless to say, I was REALLY good at distracting my friends. We laughed. A lot.

Jessie and I gave up diet coke. Not going well so far. I mean, I've been successful... but I've been miserable. Good thing Jessie's being a Natzi and checking up on me. Can't let her down. Because of the lack of diet coke in my life, I got coffee before club last night because I was really sleepy. I usually don't drink caffeine after like 3. The coffee gave me zero energy for club. I was still so sleepy. But by the time I got to the library, it was DEFINITELY kicking in. Sorry friends. I was up til about 4 this morning. Just laying in bed. I knew this would be the case, but since I wasn't going to class this morning, I figured it didn't really matter. Woke up at 9. Didn't even set my alarm because I wanted to sleep in. Still woke up at 9. I'm glad I did though. Wouldn't want to have wasted any more of the day sleeping.

This is a special shout out to Beezy-- he makes fun of Jessie and me for blogging (did you know this Jessie?), but he will soon realize how cool it is. I'm sure he reads ours daily, and he'll probably start his own soon.

I'm excited to see my small group tonight, then hopefully some friends at their soccer game, and then West Side leader meeting for camp! Ahhh. I'm so excited for this weekend!!

It's the little things in life that mean the most.

This is going to be a sporadic post with lots of random thoughts because that describes my life... and my brain. I really am losing my mind. My brain has pretty much decided to quit working this semester- I write everything down and still forget things, I am always out of it (making me even more awkward than I already am), and I haven't been a good friend lately.

On that note... I know this is really selfish of me, but I just can't put forth the effort that I have been into some friendships anymore. I literally can't. It's so draining when I get absolutely nothing in return from some people. Especially when I feel like they don't care about our friendship at all. If it doesn't matter to them, maybe it shouldn't matter to me so much. Yes, there are people that I still feel led to pursue and don't *shouldn't* expect anything in return (which should always be the case probably), but those people that I'm not feeling really called to pursue a friendship with right now... I'm just going to let it go. I hate that and it is so so difficult for me to say (will be even harder for me to actually do), but I have to do it because I have so many other things (God, other relationships, Young Life, school) I need to focus on. I have to get rid of some of the "drainers" in my life so that I can be filled in order to pour out.

Something that I'm looking forward to that I absolutely love- Panera with Jessie tomorrow. This time once a week seriously keeps me going. Time with her always makes me think about life, really consider the things I'm doing (whether they're actually worthwhile or not), and she always points me to the Lord. My time with her is always rich (NOT exhausting!). I don't know how it happens or how she does it- yes, I do... She lets God use her and speak through her. Incredible.

Jamie and I went to Bearden's Young Life tonight to hear Lindsey speak and she was AWESOME. Wow. You could hardly tell she was nervous at all and her message was great. She spoke so much truth to those high schoolers. It is amazing to watch God use my wonderful friends in such cool ways to share His love. I am SO PROUD of this girl.

Time for another shout out...

How sad that this is the only picture I can find of just the two of us
(side note: my hair was SO long)

Jessie Hoaglin

No words to express how thankful I am for this girl. We were placed in the same Quest small group and are both still a part of it. The Lord knew I needed a friend like her to walk through life with. Sadly, we haven't had a whole lot of time in the past to hang out... but she's always my go-to girl when I need someone to talk to. She's honest with me, and that is something that I really appreciate. Even if I don't want to hear what she has to say, it's what I need to be told. It's so great to have someone that will call me out when I need to be set straight. Even though we make each other awkward, and we can't be together for too long before we both get really weird, it seems as if she always, always understands what I'm going through. She speaks truth into my life more than any of my other friends. This girl is incredible and has such an amazing heart. I have recently been blessed with the chance to spend a few hours with Jessie every Friday at Sarah Moore Greene. Not only do I get to see her pour out love on these inner-city kids and get a small glimpse of what her ministry looks like, but I also get to spend some quality time with her in the car where we can talk about life and share our hearts with one another.

Love you, Jessie! Can't wait for Friday :)

Chelcie Crawford

You may know her as Bubs, but regardless of what you call her, you know she's amazing.
We've been friends since we were 8, and I cannot believe that she is now TWENTY ONE! How the h did that happen?

Dear Chelcie,
Thank you for 12 years of great friendship and I can't wait for many more years to come! You are truly one of my best friends and really, more like a part of the family. I don't even know where to start or what to say, but I am so grateful that God has placed you in my life and you have been a part of it for so long! You always, always, always know how to make me laugh and are just such a blessing to my life in so many ways.

I'm really glad we've never done anything stupid or embarrassing together... Gah, we have SO many memories together from our pet shop to Lucy and Lacey to snorting Nerds to your fake bike injury in 4th grade to coloring tissues to pulling out teeth and watching our pupils dilate to Callaway Gardens to Hilton Head multiple times to going to that terrible dessert in Oregon together... I could go on and on... obviously.

Thanks for always being there for me to talk to. I feel like you always understand where I'm coming from. My favorite thing about you (you have SO many great qualities, it's hard to narrow it down) is that you long to serve the Lord. You never want to be comfortable with your life. You always want to be doing something more. You seek the Lord in all you do and that's so evident in the way you live life. You love people so well whether it be your friends, family, or girls at Halls. Thank you for letting Christ shine through you because it is such an encouragement to me and so many others.

Love you, Chelc! HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYY (a day late)!!!!!!!

OGK.

This is a post about my favorite person in the world.

This girl is crazy. She is very loud, very outgoing, LOVES attention... the complete opposite of me. If we didn't have the same jaw structure, I wouldn't believe we were related. She is hilarious- constantly making me laugh. Although I was not particularly happy when I found out she had been conceived, I love her more than I could have ever imagined. I pray that I can walk so closely with Christ that I can tell Olivia to "follow me" as Paul said to the Corinthians (1 Cor 11:1), and that will lead her in the way of the Lord. She's going to be quite a handful for my dad in her teenage years... she already is! He always introduces me as the "easy child" because I never caused any trouble, and it's evident that she will. She has so much personality. I love you, Olivia Gail.

Looking back at past posts about Africa, I feel like I complained a lot. I promise I loved it. It was such an amazing experience, and I had a wonderful time. It was hard. Really hard. But more than that, it was absolutely incredible. Reading through my journal, it is evident that I was ready to come home, but now I long to be back there.

Now on to another shout out:

One of my favorite people and bestest friends-

CARL VICK.

Where do I even begin? So goofy and so fun to be around. We've been through some rough times in our friendship, but always both care enough to work through it. We're both sensitive and try to pretend like we're mad at each other sometimes, but we love each other too much to stay upset! :) I'm so thankful for him and his willingness to listen to what's going on in my life when I can't talk to my other friends about it. Glad he joined our family vacation for a few short days this summer.
Oh yeah, if you haven't read his Xanga, you should really check it out.

Happy (early) birthday, Steeny!

I would not be the person I am today if it weren't for this girl right here.

I remember the first time I met her at my very first Young Life club. Freshmen year was not my peak, but I still don't believe that I was truly as awkward as Christine swears I was. :) Now I have experienced how she felt trying to pursue us, and I feel so sorry for her. We were young, awkward, bratty, dumb, dramatic, not nice, self-centered, lost, immature... typical high school freshmen. Oh yeah, and I was depressed, and I'm pretty sure I piled that all on her the night I met her. Via Facebook. I grew so much as a person and in my walk with Christ through my high school years thanks to this beautiful young woman I called my Young Life leader, but she was (and still is) SO much more than that- a friend, a role model, a mentor, a listener. I could go on and on about how wonderful she is and how much she means to me.

Christine, I cannot thank you enough for investing your time in our lives. For pursuing us even when we didn't know we wanted/needed to be pursued. For putting up with all our BS, and continuing to build relationships with us even when we did not treat you well. For always being there for us. For listening to our drama. For taking us to Frontier. For speaking truth into our lives. For never giving up on us. And for being completely out of your mind and taking us on our senior spring break trip. Can't wait for the reunion trip! :)

(still hate that I'm not in this picture)

Words cannot describe how much you mean to me.

Happy birthday!

I LOVE YOU.

"I'm not gonna question why You're so faithful, why You give me the blessings that You have"

I am blessed beyond belief with the relationships that God has placed in my life. I had some awesome conversations today with sweet, sweet friends and was just reminded of how truly blessed I am by the people in my life.

Nicole and I walked for a while tonight- the weather was beautiful, and so was the conversation we had. Gah, she is so wonderful- she encourages me constantly and speaks so much truth into my life.

I also talked to my best friend from middle school, Ashley, a little bit today. We don't talk nearly enough so it was so good to hear from her, and I cannot even wait to see her get married this winter.

(unacceptable that I can't find a picture of us together... probably a good thing to save us both the embarrassment, but I don't know why I can't find those awesome pictures we took to make our best friends shirts! I'll hunt them down)

Another great conversation was one I had with Matt. It had been a while since we had really talked, and even though it was kind of a tough conversation (mainly because I've sucked at being a good friend to him lately and had to own up to that), it was so good to catch up and be real with each other.

(hahaha sorry Matt, this is the only picture I have of the two of us)

I got a super sweet note from Chelcie on my car today. She's awesome, and I already miss living with her! Thank goodness we have a class together!

Jamie took me to lunch this week AND made me muffins. She's just trying to fatten me up... So thankful that she's on my team and we get to grow in our ministry together.

My family is also simply incredible, and I have loved spending lots of time with them since I've been home from Africa. Just being in their presence is so great.

(we may seem a little dysfunctional, but personally, I think we've learned to function quite well. we love the Lord and we love each other.)

I miss my friends that I went to Africa with and the African friends I made while I was there!