About time...

Well, I guess it's about time I blog again. So this is for those of you who read this- my mom and grandmother- that have been asking when the next post would be.

I really don't have much to say other than I am SO excited that summer school is finally over so now I can spend a few weeks sleeping in. Class really didn't take up much of my day at all since I was out by 10, but it will be nice to sleep later than 6:30 (this morning I didn't even set an alarm... Just woke up on my own... at 7:17! HA) and be able to actually hang out at night instead of being a "grandma" as my sweet friends like to call me.

So here's to summer! And hopefully relearning how to sleep in.

I'm going to copy Morgan's blog and do a tribute to some things I've been loving:

• Sonic has been my hang out location of choice. I'm not joking when I say that I've been there pretty much (at least) once a day. Usually to see Nicole.
  
• Going to the lake house and avoiding rats/scorpions/being thrown in the lake/Nicole with fireworks/boys with guns.
  
  
  
  
  [side note: also loving this tank with Cally's face on it]
  
  [disregard the strange 4 year old in the wolf shirt]
  
  
  (Blogger hates me and likes to make it really difficult to upload pictures. It used to be super easy. Now It doesn't want to allow me to continue putting bullet points... so we'll make do.)
  
  
  
  - Like Morgan, I'm also obsessing over Pinterest. I am on the website WAY too often. I, however, have not found the time/resources/money to be as crafty as she has!
  
  
  - My small group. Our Wednesday nights together. And Paulette teaching us how to cook.
  
  
  - WEDDINGS!
  
  [Who doesn't belong?! Oh yeah, that'd be me.]
  
  
  
  
  -Hanging out with my sister.
  
  
  
  - The underwater camera!
  
  
  
  
  
  - Frolf (frisbee golf)
  
  
  
  - Drive ins!
  

I think I was a lot better at blogging last summer, back when I started this thing. Recently all I've been doing is listing the recent happenings, it seems like. I'm glad I have this blog to document the fun things in my life, and I definitely want to use it for that at times... but what it's really supposed to be documenting is my love for Jesus and my walk with Him. Maybe I've been slacking at that because it's so much easier just to list the fun things I've been doing, whereas putting my heart into words can be so difficult.

For right now, I will say that I am in a place of longing. I am yearning for God's truth and love and to be closer to Him, but not only that... I am also yearning for Him to remind some of my dear friends of His goodness, His mercy, and His unfailing love.

This is hard to say... 1 because I don't want to admit it and 2 because I don't really know how to explain it, but I think that lately I have been trying so hard to remind others that God has everything under control that I've been forgetting to remind myself of that. I've been forgetting to take time for myself. I've been spending time with God for others... it that makes any sense at all. I haven't been focusing on Him for myself. I haven't been spending time with Him so that He and I can have intimate time together, but I have been reading His word almost solely to try and comfort others through it.

I think comforting others with God's love is a GREAT thing when you do it the right way. I have to re-prioritize. I have to put God first. It is a lesson I am having to learn over and over again. I somehow so easily let earthly relationships come between Jesus and me. I have to run to God for ME. For my relationship with Him. I have to be right with Him, walking in step with Him, letting Him guide my every move... and then through that I can love others with His love. I can share with others what He is teaching ME. I can point people to Jesus. I can show them how to be comforted by Him instead of comforted by ME.

In trying to help others and comfort others, I feel like I'm being selfless when in reality I'm being so selfish because I'm not pointing them to Christ the way I should be. How can I tell others to run to Christ for themselves when I seem to have lost sight of running to Him for myself? And that does sound selfish, but in reality, fulfilling a yearning for Christ is not selfish because through that you can help others SO much better. And Christ longs for us to come to Him!

Trying to be "filled" with Christ just so that I can go and pour that out onto others is so draining because I'm not being truly filled to where I am overflowing. I am just simply getting enough to give to someone else and then being left empty. It's a crazy cycle that I really don't think I can explain, but I have got to start being filled by Christ through His love, through church, and through others to the point that His love can overflow from me so that I have enough to give away. Constantly being the person trying to be there for others who are going through hard times is really wearing me down, but I know that listening and encouraging are things that God is calling me to. I just have to go about it the correct way.

I was expecting this to turn into another short blogging list, so sorry for my noncoherent ramblings!

People are once again commenting on how long it's been since I've blogged- Just enjoying summer too much to have time to sit down and think, I guess.

A lot has happened, but probably nothing interesting for me to write about or you to read about.

• Spanish is going way better than I could have ever imagined. If second session is the least bit difficult, I'm really going to have to kick it into gear.
• Because of my 103 average in Spanish, I decided to take a few days off and take a spontaneous beach trip- the family vacay I wasn't going to be able to go on. Lindsey and I decided on a Friday that we would up and leave for the beach the next morning. That's probably been the best part so far. Really thankful for my time with Lindsey and time by the ocean to relax.
  
  

• I learned to wake surf. Well... kind of. Actually, not really at all. I did get up (still holding the rope) for a few seconds.
• I've been dog-sitting quite a bit for my dad. Again, it's a nice gig considering there's a pool in the back yard... but the dogs. Oh my goodness, they are high maintenance. They have torn up everything in sight (including my Chacos).
  
• ABBY AND ANDY GOT MARRIED!!!!!!! Congrats to the most precious couple in the world (okay, I might have to change my wording next week after I see Jordan and Abby get married because they might be tied)!
  

I'm trying really hard to complain less... about everything, but particularly about summer school because it's only the third day and I've complained to everyone I've seen. I'll get used to it eventually, right? Every once in a while it just hits me that it's going to be EVERY day for the rest of the summer... and I get really sad about that.

In all honesty, it's not that bad- the only bad part is waking up between 6 and 6:30 every morning and then sitting through a two hour, very boring Spanish class in which I have to talk (one of my least favorite things). On the bright side though, the weather is AMAZING when I go out to my car. It feels perfect! I drive with my windows down (one of my favorite things), I get to see quite a few friends and have class with two of them, I get done at 10 and have the rest of the day to do whatever I want- I'm going to take full advantage of the pool in my dad's back yard. Oh, and the best part is probably the beautiful sunrise I've seen every morning thus far.

Back to complaining- I'm really sad that I'm missing my family vacation for the first time ever! And don't get to take any trips this summer... but that's okay, I promised mom I'd stay in the country anyway.

I need my friends to put pictures on facebook so I can steal them for this blog- it's lacking and that makes it so boring! Maybe I should just start taking my own camera so I can have pictures. Good idea, huh?

moving on

This is going to be a lot of random thoughts- not surprising if you know me at all. That's just how my brain works. But I'm talking really sporadic (like ranging from One Tree Hill to yearning for God's word to moving to Africa).

First (and of least -actually zero- importance). I've been TiVo-ing One Tree Hill at my dad's because it gives me something to watch (even though I've seen every episode at least once) when I'm here dog-sitting. I'm done for now but will be back for two weeks soon. Anyway, one episode a day comes on the Soap Net, and I got back today to look at it and it has recorded FIVE episodes already today. Talk about some excitement.

Next, I had lunch with a dear friend of mine Thursday before she headed off to Frontier, and we had one of the best heart-to-hearts I've had with anyone in a long time. For the first time, I'm ready to leave the mess of this past semester behind me and move on. I'm ready to seek what God has been teaching me through the trials and work on loving others as He would. I'm ready to restore friendships and focus on Christ. I'm ready to find joy and strength in Him. I'm ready to forgive.

Lastly, I've only just begun reading Radical, but I can already tell it's going to change my life. I hope I never forget these truths that so often slip my mind in day-to-day life. I am thankful for the opportunity to talk about this book and my heart with Amy by the pool yesterday. She told me that I should put the book down if I wasn't ready to head to Africa because this book is just going to strengthen that desire... and it already is.

Join me in praying for my sweet, sweet friends that are leading kids at Frontier this week, as well as praying for my high school friends and theirs that they are taking. I can't wait to hear all about their experiences. Pray that hearts will be changed and that kids will hear and respond to the gospel in a new way.

Well, as usual, on Sunday it seemed like our pastor was speaking directly to ME. For some reason I think I'm still emotionally, physically, spiritually tired from the past semester. I'm so thankful for some time to rest, but in that, I need to be resting in a way and place that I can hear God's whisper. I need a word from Him- to be filled by Him and to know what's next. After the sermon Pastor Scott asked a preacher from GHANA to pray over our church. How cool! And as you can imagine, it made me crave being in Africa. It's hard for me to be in school feeling like I'm not accomplishing anything to further the Kingdom. I know this means I need to find my purpose HERE and NOW in this time of preparation for what's next... because there is so much I can be doing right here in Knoxville, but I'm so distracted by the thought of going to Africa- back to Zimbabwe or maybe to Ghana to work alongside this sweet pastor and his wife.

The pastor was born into royalty- the son of a king. One of the servant boys loved Jesus so much that this pastor, even as a kid, realized there was something different about him so he asked the servant about it. Then the soon-to-be pastor came to know Jesus, left the life of royalty, and planted a church that now has 25 churches that branched off from it. Amazing.

It's evident that for now God wants me here. If that's where He wants me, then I'm happy being here... but I don't want to be content. I want to keep searching, keep seeking, keep running hard after the Lord and pursuing His plans for me.

Starting a week from today, I'll be getting up around 6 for Spanish at 8 every day for the rest of the summer (weekends excluded, of course). So for now, I will take full advantage of sleeping til 9 every day!

Man oh man. Today is the first day of dog-sitting for my dad, and I'm already over it! Not trying to complain, and I know this is un-American, but... I don't think I'm much of a dog person. Definitely not much of a licking, jumping, hyper dog person. Shadow is fine... most of the time, but NOT when you have to be in the same bed as him. I literally did not fall asleep until after 4 last night because he wouldn't stop moving, licking, coughing, sneezing, and trying to share my pillow with me. No thank you. Oh but I HAVE to let him on the bed. Dad's orders.

Anyway, we made it through the night, somehow. He woke me up early and then the smoke detector started beeping every 5 minutes because the battery is dying. You know that high-pitched shrill noise they make? Yep, that's the one. But I couldn't figure out what it was in my state of delusion due to 3 1/2 hours of sleep. Eventually I figured it out, but it's much too high up on the wall for me to dismantle it to change the batteries. So unless someone changes it for me... it's going to be a long 6 days at this house. Well, even longer than it was already going to be without the beeping!

The plus side to staying at my dad's is the pool... now it just needs to be pretty out! Pleeeease.

Today I went to pick up Olivia from school with Shadow by my side. I decided that I wouldn't feel as silly running down Westland with a dog, so I took him along. That's right people, I ran. This is BIG. I kind of thought I was going to collapse on the side of the road- that might be even more embarrassing if someone saw me passed out than if they actually saw me attempting to run. I'm not sure.

Too much words. Not enough pictures- haven't had any in a while. So I'll add some now! Haven't taken pictures in forever so I'll have to steal from friends.

The day of the tornadoes- taking cover in the bottom of the lib.


Christine came to visit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


End of the year leadership.

Just Dance party at Lauren's. Boy do I miss living with that girl.




Jamie made us have a CAK girl leaders photo shoot in Market Square. I'll leave out the most embarrassing ones.